Running the Marathon

 Although, I have never run a marathon, I sometimes wonder if it feels a bit like this...

We are coming down the homestretch of our remodel when it comes to the refinancing.  Time is nearly out (our year long contracts ends in March) and we are madly trying to finish the things that have to be done in order to be approved for the refinance.  Gobs of paperwork, receipts, and "proof" have been sent in (this has been quite a task).  And the things that are mostly left to do are finishing items - finishing the deck, finishing the trim, finishing getting the outlets all covered, finishing getting the toilet and sinks hooked up, etc..  There will still be a lot to do even after the initial inspection is done but once the refinance has gone through, we won't be under the time crunch.  We can do the paint touch ups, the kitchen backsplash, the transition pieces, the repainting of the cabinets that were so poorly done, and get the outside painted.  And try to juggle needing to fix fences and redo the pump house and clean up the barn....  It feels like we might never get to the maintenance part.  That is the "fun" part that we are looking forward to someday, being outside and working on the property.

Phil is facing equal time crunches at work.  He continues to put in long days at work (between 10-16 hours) and then comes home and has been working on reports and has had to stay up well past midnight trying to get those done by their due date.  He is exhausted.  Honestly, a move and a remodel would have been difficult standing alone but a new job on top of has felt impossibly crazy at times.

With Phil gone at work or working on the house, I have taken over the jobs we used to do together in the evenings and on the weekends.  

It is hard not to feel sorry for us.  It is hard not to want to throw our hands up in the air and say, "We quit, we can't take another step."  We know in our minds that we will settle into the changes but the here and now is very stressful and we are both feeling the weight of not getting rest for our minds or our bodies.

The decking is up!

Insomnia...having a cup of tea at 2:30 in the morning.

Another stressor for me is school.  I think we ended up over extending ourselves.  I keep adding fun things that I know will enrich our education and give social opportunities for the children but I need morning and afternoon time to complete a school day and I am rarely getting it.  Last week and this week, I only had one full day of school.  We added in a crafting class once a month for the girls...this means that I now have 3 once a month "clubs".  We also added in tutoring for Sawyer.  He is doing dyslexia tutoring in Silverton twice a week.  So far, it is an excellent fit and he is enjoying it.  It is in the late evening this month but will switch to the afternoons in March, giving me an additional 4+ hours a week out of our normal schooling time.  I did get some very good news about Barton.  First, I spoke with the owner of the Dyslexia center we are going through and next year, I will be able to have both Sawyer and Evi reading and writing!  I am really excited about this.  It means independence and I can go down to two tutoring sessions a week.  Second, Sawyer has done some posttest assessments with his tutor to make sure he knew the material covered so far.  He does and he knows it well and the tutor said that whatever mom is doing, keep it up.  I needed to hear that.


We have been going to the Salem Public library after art lessons.  The children love the selection and it has been so nice to see them all really getting into books.  This has not always been the case, so it is exciting to see.


Snow in the distant hills.

Valentines came and went without fan fare.  I am glad that I am secure enough in my relationship to know and understand that we can't always make a production of things.  That life gets busy and we can show love and appreciation for one another all throughout the year.  The children were disappointed.  I often have done special crafts and meals for holidays but I just couldn't this year.  My parents brought me over a lovely bouquet that I have thoroughly enjoyed!  I tried to take some close up with my macro lens...none of them really turned out.


Playing in the mud, again.

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