Radical thinking, radical changes

I have had some time today to reflect on the journey of becoming the kind of wife and mother that I want to be. I have noticed that as Phil and I have stepped away from the cultural “norms”, we are put more in a position of really being sure of ourselves and in defense of our lifestyle. So…here goes my ramblings on the subject…

First of all, a lot of the changes have been in me. I realized that for the past 30 + years, I have lived a very selfish, self-involved life. There is a lot more to being a Christian than going to church or avoiding the “obvious” sins. It is more about having a heart passionate for the Lord. For me personally, this really entails contentment in my circumstance and not letting my feelings/emotions control my actions. Every situation where I may feel angry, frustrated, annoyed, exasperated, etc. even if justified, needs a response worthy of the daughter of a King. This starts with taking captive of thoughts and emotions before they are unbecoming reactions. I battle with this daily and I lose, a lot more than I would like.

Second, I was completely naïve about what it meant to be a mother, at least the kind of mother that I feel the Lord has asked me to be. I have had to ask myself, “Why is being a parent so hard sometimes?” The answer is simple, there is a battle going on for the souls of my children. At some point my children will have to answer the calling of the Lord. It is not a decision I can make for them but I can equip them with the tools that they need to make this decision an easy one. We (Phil and I) can teach them the word of the Lord, the power of prayer, the ability to trust and to follow in His leadership. We can model a personal relationship with Christ in our lives, our marriage, and our parenting. We can saturate our home with His love. What an awesome (and sometimes terrifying) responsibility this is. This is the reality of what needs to be done and the journey of follow through and implementation can be a difficult one.

Third, in light of the above, our view of family has changed quite a bit. Children are a blessing. This is not a way to feel, it is a way to live. If children are a blessing, a large family is blessed. This doesn’t mean the road ahead is all sunshine and roses!!! Raising warriors for Christ WILL be met with struggle, guaranteed! As our family size increases and we look forward to more we are met with disapproval (is costs a lot to raise a child, where will you put them, what about your carbon footprint – aren’t you contributing to over population, and one of my favorites, the simply put “You're crazy”. I was recently told that I seem really stressed out as a reason to not have more children. This really was a reality slap for me. I am, by nature, a complainer. I tend to share my trials more than my thanksgivings. What a painful reminder that I need to take it to the Lord in prayer and not give the impression that I am not grateful for what the Lord has given me.

Fourth, my role as a wife has taken on a different meaning. I am so extremely thankful for the husband that I have. He is patient, kind, and loving. He values me and my Biblical role which I am striving to understand and follow. On this subject, I leave a great book that helped me to see things clearer, Created to be His Helpmeet by Debi Pearl. I am also reading a book that came highly recommended called, Passionate Housewives, Desperate for God by Jennie Chancey and Stacy McDonald. I also suggest the publications Above Rubies and No Greater Joy. Warning, these are intense and can really challenge your thinking, especially in this day and age. At first, I was offended by things written and the manner in which they were written but I stuck with them, and they have become a great source of encouragement!

Reflecting back over what I have written just solidifies that I need to be in prayer and in the Word. Phil and I have some radical changes to tackle!