Struggles and Trials

We are 11 days into life with our new family. Three is definitely the most challenging so far. The transition has been far more difficult than I imagined. Those blissful thoughts of relaxation and enjoyment while spending time together with our new family unit has quickly been transformed into shall we say…character building experiences.

Sawyer and Jubilee are having a very hard time transitioning. They both are struggling with whining (almost exclusively) instead of talking and crying and/or temper meltdowns every time something doesn’t go their way. I have never had them both at this extreme before and for this length of time. I am really struggling with patience as it seems my entire interaction with them is one of constant training and disciplining. I feel really bad because I look forward to them going to bed because it is so much more peaceful. Tonight, I just had them snuggle next to me and held them tight during story time. It was so nice to have that reminder of how precious they are and how much I love them. In the midst of these difficulties coupled with my own sheer exhaustion, it is easy to lose track of the fact that they are our blessings from the Lord.

I will say that the past week and a half has left me quite shaken with the thought of Phil going back to work. I rely on him so much. He is a constant support and has undertaken so much in the training of our older two and the care of our newborn not to mention help with housework and getting meals on the table. He pulls long hours and late nights to allow me rest. I just don’t know how I will get along with out him. I can’t imagine taking on all these tasks alone.

The nursing update…this is still a huge struggle. There is a big part of me that just wants to give up and bottle feed Evie. It would make life so much easier and free me from the couch confinement for hours upon hours of the day nursing, supplementing, and pumping. We spent money on a new supplemental system (this allows you to supplement while you nurse) which has not really worked out. Tomorrow we plan to rent the expensive hospital grade pump which will hopefully help build my milk supply better than the middle of the road pump I am using now. I have upped my herbal supplements and am trying to keep Evie nursing as frequently as I can (she is not always very cooperative). This is the plan for the next couple weeks and when Phil goes back to work, we will reevaluate based on results and what is realistic for our family.

These have been our struggles and trials this first week and a half. Of course, absolutely, it is worth it to have the gift of another child in our lives. I am taking it one day at a time and trying hard to remember to enjoy the blessings bestowed upon us.

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